Brothers . January 2013

For 2013, I created a calendar using the "Brothers" pictures from 2012.  In looking back at previous pictures, I love that I captured the boys last year in their matching jackets, with their winter hats.  So, while I try not to have the pictures staged, this month I couldn't resist!  In my defense - this is what the boys wear most weekends, before heading out for activities/errands.

Brothers . January 2013
(Harvick, Ryder, and Jarrett)

One Year Ago: January 2012

All Brothers Posts

Treehouse Museum . 01.05.2013

The cold weather doesn't stop Patrick and me from taking the boys out.  It's definitely more work getting everyone bundled up, strapped in their carseats, and to our destination, but I'm grateful in looking back, that we still make the effort.  The first weekend of the New Year, we headed back to a favorite place of the boys - the Treehouse Museum.

As usual, I took (too) many pictures, and rather than making collages with many pictures, this time it's a bit more separated...

Climbing up the stairs is hard work for little legs!
(Harvick in blue, Jarrett in gray)

Ryder, learning to trace.

Jarrett is fascinated with my camera.  I love close-up shots!

These magnetic plastic "blocks" are so much fun, especially on the light table.

Building this arch with the blocks is always a favorite of the boys', but knocking it over is even more fun!  And, Ryder is finally tall enough to help hold the blocks in place until the center one can be set.

The blocks are heavy, but it doesn't stop Harvick & Jarrett from attempting to carry them around!

My Ryder Boy.

Playing the drums!

Ahoy Matey!

Art time - with Patrick keeping an eye on Harvick and/or Jarrett while I take pictures!

We don't often get to explore the downstairs, but the boys had fun at this little safari station.

Me, in all my weekend-so-I-won't-wear-make-up-glory, with Ryder.  I love when he'll take a picture with me - but, he struggles with the flash even more than I do.

A quick stop at the farm area...

And, ending with the trains (or, in Harvick's case a tractor brought over from the farm area).

The Treehouse can definitely be a bit chaotic, but the boys have so much fun in all the areas.  And, thanks to a generous Christmas gift from Patrick's Grandparents, and Aunt & Uncle, we get to go often!

Christmas Lights . 2012

So, yes, it is January.  But, it's barely been a month since Christmas.  And, our trips to see the lights were some of my favorite of our December activities.

First up, we headed to the Christmas Village in Downtown Ogden.  Jody was able to meet us there - it's always nice to have 3 adults with 3 kids for something like this.  Knowing it would be cold, we bundled the boys up - turns out we didn't have jackets for Harvick & Jarrett that fit; luckily, Ryder's coat from last year was bought a full size to big (purposefully), so we'll get 2 years use out of it!

The boys, looking into the Christmas Village homes.

A family photo.  Jarrett doesn't look happy, but really, he loved it!
(Harvick in yellow, Jarrett in blue/gray)

I left my flash at home, which was a good decision...except for getting pictures of the train ride.  The same model train company we visited this past summer, had a track laid down in the middle (not well-lit) part of the park - Ryder rode on his own first, then ended his time there riding with his brothers!

Not every posed picture can be a perfect one - I was the only one wanting a quick photo!

Our second Christmas Light outing was to Layton.  The park there has a drive-thru the park option, or a smaller area that you can walk through.  We opted to walk around, even though it was cold out!  Also, we picked up new coats for Harvick & Jarrett.

Another attempt at getting a picture with my boys...a little better than the last time.

Walking around the displays.

The boys' favorite part was the "tunnel" of lights - they would run back and forth (luckily, the walk-through portion of the park was much less crowded than the drive-thru portion)!

RUNNING through the "tunnel"!
(Jarrett, Harvick, and Ryder)

Stopping to check out the light structure.
(Ryder, Jarrett, and Harvick)

My beautiful boys!
(Harvick, Ryder, and Jarrett)

Of course, Ryder's favorite display was the train - we even let him bypass the rope to get a bit closer!

A "selfie" of us in the "tunnel", while the boys ran back and forth, and back and forth, and....

Going to see Christmas Lights is not on Patrick's favorite things to do list, but it is on mine, for sure!  Having three boys even more excited than me, makes it an easy choice for a fun (and free!) weekend activity.

Ice Cream Cones!

Blogging has had to take a back seat recently.  I'm still taking (too many) pictures, and have lots to share, but time available is short.

I took Harvick & Jarrett into the doctor's office this past Thursday (the 17th), after they were getting a bit sicker each day, for about a week.  They had congestion and runny noses, slight coughs (mostly when they were very active), and low-grade fevers (never above 101).  The both would pull at their ears, but never consistently the same one(s), and more in a playful manner.  Their diagnosis (after the longest 90 minute wait time, WITH an appointment SCHEDULED) was a left ear infection for each boy, a possible eye infection, and RSV.

So...we've locked ourselves at home, and have been working to get the boys healthy again!

In the meantime...here are some old pictures (taken at night, with no flash...pardon the quality)...

My parents gave the boys some coupons for a free cone at Arctic Circle - on my way home from work one day, we stopped by to redeem them before they expired...

Harvick didn't hesitate at all, but was very cautious in eating the ice cream!

Ryder loved his, but wanted to eat it out of the cup...then wanted to be silly while I took pictures!

Jarrett loved the idea of it, but wouldn't really eat it without help - when it got on his face a little more than he wanted, he freaked out (bottom left, obviously) - it was short lived, though...

When Jarrett became upset, Ryder came to the rescue - showing his little brother how to lick the ice cream, without getting it on his face!

The dessert was free (well, under $2 - I picked up a cone for Patrick & me also!), but was such a fun memory with the boys!

Harvick & Jarrett . 20 Months

20 months old
.
28 pounds, 13 ounces (Harvick)
30 pounds, 3 ounces (Jarrett)
.
(Compare to Ryder at 20 Months)

These boys are so much fun!  When co-workers ask how they are, my simple response is "busy".  They are everywhere.  All of the time.  And, loud.  My house is only quiet when they sleep now!

Harvick has really become the caretaker of the two.  He is always ensuring that Jarrett has whatever he has for himself - especially a pacifier, blanket, or a stuffed bear.  Jarrett does return this caretaking trait, but not as often.  They both are adventurous, climbing always.  Patrick and I do our best to make sure we keep things "even", without making it a big deal.  We would switch who helped Harvick & Jarrett eat - but in the last month they have made this distinction on their own - Jarrett sits by Patrick, and Harvick sits by me.

They continue to be non-verbal, but understand an immense amount.  They are getting better at following directions, and being able to respond yes or no (non-verbally) to questions.

They both are good eaters, being picky over different things.  Don't try to give Jarrett any berries - ANY!  While Harvick doesn't eat his vegetables without some significant prompting and/or bribing.

Harvick continues to have blue eyes, and is smiling much of the time!

Crazy hair babies, and smiling!  They love their baths!
(Harvick on the left, Jarrett on the right)

I LOVE when they kiss each other - it's the embarrassing kind of kiss, mouths open, that they will hate having pictures of when they're a bit older.
(Jarrett on the left, Harvick on the right)

Yes, we are the parents that tie their kids' pajama legs together, and encourage them to walk around!

This serious of pictures started when I wanted to grab one of Harvick & I together, since we matched so well.  Jarrett wanted to participate...until I put the camera on them together...

The best shot I could get!
(Jarrett on the left, Harvick on the right)

I can't tell you how much I love this series of pictures.  I pointed the camera at Jarrett, being grumpy, then "scared" him, saying "boo" loudly - that is all it takes to get this kid smiling, and attempting to "scare" you back.  It really is an annoyingly loud scream that he makes, but it makes me jump and laugh every single time!

Patrick and I read to the boys every night before bed.  On this night, they had all had baths, had gotten dressed, and their teeth brushed.  We instructed them to go read while we cleaned up, and got stuff out for the next day.  They rarely will all cooperate, but when they did, I had to grab a few shots of them reading together.  I love it!

Apraxia of Speech . Follow-up

I promise this blog will return to a more-picture-less-words blog soon!

Sometimes I have to take time to process things.  And, since publishing my year update last week, that is what I have done.  Process.

I can't tell you, those of you who reached out in person, through Facebook, or email, how much it means to me.  I know it means a lot to Patrick also - but, he's not quite as sappy as me!  It means we are supported.  That you may not know what daily struggles we face, but that you are there.

Through the blog, and Facebook, I've learned just how many resources I have through friends. 

I am grateful for these people, amazing friends, that have reached out to offer their advice, suggestions, and just support in general.

I hope these blog posts, ones in which I write about my feelings, my thoughts, my struggles, don't make you feel bad for me.  I find comfort in being able to record these things.  And, I pray that maybe there is someone out there, whose child has been recently diagnosed, who is searching for someone that understands them right now.  The fear.  The frustration, the anger.  The unknown.  In December 2011, I spent countless hours each evening searching.  I found many blogs and websites that discuss the therapies they've encountered, and the progress (or lack of) their child has made - but nothing with the feeling. 

The support I received through writing this last post, led me to contact a friend who reached out to me a few weeks prior.  She and her husband are worried for their daughter.  They are seeing signs in her, that she remembers me sharing about Ryder.  She felt lost.  Lonely.  And, didn't know what she should do.  I gave her all the info I could via text.  And then, I had left it at that.  I didn't want to bug her about it.  I worried I would be a pest.

But, the day after hitting publish, I texted her again.  I asked how the next steps had gone, and what I could do to help.  Her first text back to me: Thank you.  She thanked me for taking the time to follow-up with her.  She was lonely in this journey.  I felt a kick in the gut for that - I KNOW how lonely it feels.  Yet, I still questioned my next step.  It was because of the response I received from the post that led me to follow-up.  I realized how much it had meant to me to feel supported, and decided to do the same for someone else.

Finally, in a response, to someone who reached out to me, I told her what writing this last blog post reminded me - I do have support.  All around me.  I just have to take the step to seek it - like my friend did with me.  

You are part of our support network.  And, for that, I can not thank you enough.

From 09/01/2012 - Fun in the bathtub!
(Harvick, Jarrett, and Ryder)

One-step-at-a-time.

Broncos Fans!

Peggy (my mom's friend) sent the boys Broncos shirts, after we weren't able to connect in-person when we were in Colorado.  They've been able to wear the shirts a handful of times, but I keep missing the opportunity to take a picture.  So, when they were wearing them last week, I thought a picture of them together would be perfect...and, as usual, the boys weren't on board.  So, I skipped it, and decided to take a few shots of them on their own...

My first attempts didn't go so well.  I especially love that when Patrick was teasing Jarrett, Ryder was all about the photo op, leaning into the picture!

Cute boys!
(Ryder, Harvick, and Jarrett)

Thanks Peggy for the fun shirts!

Apraxia of Speech . 1 Year (Week 45-54)

367 days ago I published a post.  This entry has been brought up to me, in person, more than any other that I have written.

The day I hit "Publish" on it, I cried.

If I'm being honest, I cried for what I thought I was missing.  What I felt was stolen from me, and even more so Ryder.

I made many who read the post cry too.

Apraxia of Speech.

3 words I still wish I never knew.  3 words, when linked together, were life-altering for our family.  3 words I have grown, with time, to accept.  And, maybe even appreciate.  Maybe.

367 days ago I wrote about Ryder's diagnosis.  At that time, we had been through several months of frustration with our local hospital and school district.  The SLP diagnosing him had me feel infinitesimal in size when I brought up those 3 words at Ryder's evaluation.  My heart hurt for my son.  He had done nothing to deserve this.  Nothing.  Yet, we were facing what felt like a long, lonely path.  My writing reflected this, I believe, between the lines.  I didn't write about the way I was treated when Ryder was diagnosed - I stated she was kind.  She was kind to Ryder.  Not to me.  I didn't write the near battle it was to get Ryder to been seen the first time by the school district months prior.  Or, the many failed methods suggested to us to get Ryder to "stop being lazy" with his speech.  Or, really, the heartache.  In looking back now, I see it written in every line.  And, between each line.  It wasn't my intent.

But, 367 days later I hope what you read between the lines is hope.

Ryder has completed a full year of Speech Therapy.  It's been a road with many curves and bumps, but we've navigated it together as a family.

Almost immediately it was clear that PCMC was not a good fit for Ryder.  But, we (more me) pushed it.  PCMC is world-renowned for their work with children.  World-renowned.  What I failed to see is that it's status made no difference to my struggling son.  The therapist was easily frustrated with Ryder, and he was even more easily angered with her.  She primarily worked with children a few years older (which makes sense, seeing as Ryder was the youngest child to receive the Apraxia diagnosis by PCMC).  Her patience level would wear thin quickly.  

At the time, Ryder was attending a Montessori School two days/week.  His teacher had let us know earlier in the year that the school worked with a Speech Therapist company, and a specific SLP came into their school weekly to see students.  We declined at the time, but made the call to get more info just weeks into the PCMC therapy.

And, although this blog is personal, it is also public.  We'll call this new SLP "S".

S has been a blessing to our family.  Beyond words.  I recently sent her boss a review of our near year of therapy. I wish I was a better writer, as I am sure I failed to convey my full thanks for her.  If asked, I am positive that S would say that it is Ryder's effort, and the effort Patrick and I make throughout each day.  And, she is correct, but she fails to see just how immense her role plays in his success.  My son has the ability to communicate.  He can express his feelings.  He can say "me no know da word" when he knows what his is thinking, but can not physically say the word.  He can SAY that he doesn't know the word.  SAY it.

Also at the time I first wrote about Apraxia, Ryder was being seen twice monthly by the Early Intervention (through our school district).  Following the diagnosis from PCMC, we had nothing but great experiences with the SLP.  It was as if she needed the confirmation of a diagnosis to do things differently than she was "supposed" to.  It took us awhile, but I would say that Early Intervention played a key role in Ryder's success as well.

When Ryder "aged out" this summer, the therapy from Early Intervention stopped.  He qualified for the district's Special Ed Preschool, and attends 4 days/week.  It's hard to quantify his improvement directly related to his attendance, but we are happy to have him there.  Ryder has an awesome teacher, whom he loves.  He is in an environment of peers who also struggle in some area of their development.  Many are more severe than Ryder, in different ways.  In this environment, Ryder has learned how to better communicate with children.  I place credit with the school (over daycare, home or church) because it is there that he has to problem solve most frequently.  He has the opportunity to interact with differently-abled children, which has made him more aware.

So, 367 days later.

This year has been hopeful.  As we were able to make the right connections for Ryder, he was able to begin success.  Ryder has a long road, still, ahead of him.  He is still, in many aspects, behind his peers in verbal expression.  The truth is, he may always be.  But, we are hopeful for his future.  If he can go from 2 words (ball and "ba-woon" (balloon)) to no longer being able to count the words he can express, what can he do in a year more?

Ryder will continue in the Special Ed Preschool through this school year (he will likely no longer qualify next year - both a blessing and a curse - for another post).  He will continue his therapy with S, and decrease slightly in the coming months, as S prepares to welcome a third baby into her home.  He will get a full month "off" from formal sessions, before going back to S regularly (and, her willingness to take only a month off makes me forever grateful).

Now, our concern shifts to encompass little brothers.  Harvick and Jarrett are nearly 20 months old, and non verbal.  They babble.  Constantly.  But, have no words.  We see in them the same signs we saw in Ryder.  PCMC had told us, upon diagnosis, they have never treated a sibling set for Apraxia of Speech.  This, combined with being boys and being multiples, gives us a slight chance they just have delayed speech. 

We have made the choice to not pursue speech intervention with them yet.  We know (very well) basic speech therapy techniques, and use them with the boys regularly.  In the coming months, if their non verbal state remains, we will begin the process over again.  Only this time, we have hope on our side.
Thank you, YOU reading this, for being a support to our family.  I know that "only" have a speech issue seems insignificant in the greater picture, and it is, but in the moment, it is hard.  And lonely.

For those of you that interact regularly with our boys, just as it was 367 days ago, you should continue.  Encourage words, even if none come.  Require they make an attempt, even if it is very far from the correct sound. 

Finally, to any of our friends with young children (especially Ryder, Harvick, and Jarrett's ages) : don't hesitate to tell me fun things your child says.  Or, new words they are learning.  I'll be honest, sometimes it takes a conscious choice to not be sad for my boy(s), but I have never, ever, not been happy for you to experience this. 

Apraxia of Speech is a challenge, but one that we will overcome.

Their new bedtime routine (hence the sleepy eyes) includes running over to their growth charts to check if they have grown since the night previous.  It is likely one of the cutest things ever!
(Ryder, Harvick, and Jarrett)

One-step-at-a-time.